Dating Advice for Guys

Here's some dating advice for guys. Ladies, read along and see if you've had any of these things happen to you. If not, you're still in for a good laugh! The sad thing is I'm not making this up. These were my experiences this week with two different guys.

1. Guys, if you're calling a woman for the first time, it's not a good idea to call drunk. Bad enough to begin with, but if it's only 8:00 p.m. on a Thursday night and you're already two sheets to the wind, let's just say it doesn't make a good first impression.

2. If you're going to ask a woman out, ask her out! Don't beat around the bush. None of this mamby pamby "If you don't have anything better to do on Friday night, if you're not already busy, which I'm sure you are, but you're local and so I thought I would try." What the hell is that? If I say "yes," is that like admitting I have nothing better to do?

3. When said woman tries to give you advice (see #1 above), it's not very classy to hang up on her. And thinking you can write an e-mail to clear things up and try again isn't going to cut it.

4. Let's say you've gotten over hurdles 1-3 above, you meet at the requisite Starbucks, and you set a date for the coming weekend. Your new friend tells you she is leaving that day to go out of town for a few days. Refrain from calling and texting multiple times over the next 12 hours and becoming incensed when she doesn't get back to you right away (she's out of town, remember?). Becoming possessive and demanding within 12 hours of meeting is not a way to win her heart.

5. When she does call you back, it's probably not a good idea to diss her hobby of choice. To tell her that playing hand drums is not "real" drumming, and you're a "real" drummer and your form of drumming is way superior to her form, doesn't win you many points.

6. When the day of said date comes, don't call her late that afternoon and tell her, "Oh, by the way, I don't have a car anymore. If you want you can drive down to San Clemente (about 45 minutes away) and get me. I'll have another car tomorrow so we can wait till then if you want." Uh, right. Probably not.

So there you have it. For all you out there that have the idea that my dating life is so glamorous and it must be better than the boring marriage you are in, this is what I go through. Not so glamorous, is it? And yet, I keep plugging away. I know there are guys out there that are decent, kind, polite, and emotionally available for a relationship. One of these days, I'm going to meet one of them and it's gonig to click. And I guarantee you he won't be slurring his words!

Peace,

Debbie

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Artwork "Elf" by Brian. Used with permission.
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